


All that Remains

by crumpled_up



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 04:52:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crumpled_up/pseuds/crumpled_up
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for 520. A quiet moment of escape between Nanao and Kyoraku in the aftermath of the invasion and the events in 520.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All that Remains

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 520. 
> 
> This is a very special piece to me, like it's a piece of my soul, despite how weird that sounds. This is also my first fic in the Bleach fandom. Hope it works. Enjoy.

Kyoraku leaned against the railing of the First Division's balcony, staring out at the moonlit buildings. Unlike the Eighth, the view from the Captain's office was bleak. There were no beautiful gardens and trees to look at, no pond where the birds would perch and sing first thing in the morning. Instead it was a cold view of Seireitei, a reminder of the responsibility that now weighed on his shoulders.

He sighed. "How did you handle this, Yama-jii?" he muttered.

He glared out at the buildings as if they offended him, yet hoped they would give him some kind of answer. Yama-jii had no sense of beauty. Maybe he should do something to rectify that.

"Captain?"

He didn't turn around, but inclined his head to let Nanao-chan know he was listening.

"What are you doing up this late?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Nanao-chan." 

This time he turned around to look at her. The corners of his lips lifted in an effort to smile, but it seemed too painful to try right now. It had been a week since he was promoted to the First and took Nanao-chan along with him. The stabs of guilt burned every time she couldn't find her way around the division, but with her usual aplomb, she figured everything out within a few days and started making adjustments to make both of their lives easier, without stepping on too many toes. His Nanao-chan making the transition as smooth as possible.

"Sir?"

He blinked and realized that she must've asked him something and he completely missed it. "I'm sorry, Nanao-chan. Could you repeat that please?"

She made a frustrated sound and marched up to him. "Come with me." She grabbed his sleeve and dragged him back into his office.

"Nanao-chan," he cajoled. "If it's more paperwork, I'll get to it first thing in the morning, I promise. You should be resting right now. When was the last time you slept?"

She turned to look at him and he could see the dark bags under her eyes, probably the same ones that matched his. He refused to look in the mirror this morning. "Probably the last time you did. Sir," she added, then continued dragging him away.

"Oh? And where is my lovely Nanao-chan taking me? Because if you wanted to take advantage of me--"

"We're going to shunpo now."

"Wha--"

He barely caught a glimpse of his surroundings to realize that she dragged him out of the First before disappearing. They bounced between the buildings across Seireitei before landing on a ledge somewhere between Seireitei and the Rukongai as far as he could tell.

Nanao let go of him and he looked around. It was a small ledge, big enough to fit the two of them and not much more. He watched her calmly sit down at the edge, her legs dangling over, then turned to look at him as she patted the spot next to her. He obeyed her request without much thought and looked at her curiously.

"I didn't mean to startle you, Captain," Nanao said quietly. "I just thought you needed the space."

He looked around at the very little space surrounding them and quirked an eyebrow at her. "And here I thought you just wanted to be alone with me."

"There is that." A corner of her lips twitched, but she kept her focus straight ahead.

"Nanao-chan wants to spend time with her Captain? How could I deny her?" he responded, already feeling better. She didn't reply and kept staring, so he followed her lead and turned his gaze to the scenery over the ledge.

It was breathtaking.

There was no other description for it. He thought nothing could compare to the the gardens in the Eighth, but this... this trumped it for sure. The view overlooked all of Seireitei and most of the Rukongai as far as he could see. There were dots of light scattered throughout all the land. The moonlight highlighted the gold roofs and cast long shadows that looked gorgeous. The blooming trees were pale under the moonlight, but looked no less beautiful. From here, the destruction looked massive, but with construction ahead of schedule, he could see the progress they were making.

"Nanao-chan..."

"You should see it when the sun rises," she said softly. "Nothing compares to that, in my opinion."

He looked at her profile and noticed that the usual pinched lines on her face were gone and her eyes were softer in the moonlight. In fact, all the tension and rigidity she usually held have melted away. Her shoulders slouched and even her hair seemed to relax a bit from the usual up-do she wore.

She was gorgeous. 

"Thank you for bringing me here," he said just as softly.

"You're not the only one that needed it."

She tried to sound biting, but it lost the effect under the pale moonlight and her relaxed posture. He knew what she meant anyway.

Nanao leaned back on her hands, tipping her head back to the moon before looking at him. "I know the view from the First is terrible and I'm working on getting some landscaping done. It'll have to wait until most of the reconstruction is finished though."

She planned on doing some landscaping? For him? When did she figure that out in between all the transitioning? "That's fine, Nanao-chan. I don't mind the wait."

"I have a few designs for you to look at. I put them on your desk. Just let me know which one you like better or what you'd like to change and I'll work it out with the landscapers."

"Whatever you decide will be fine, Nanao-chan."

"Captain, I want _you_ to decide."

He tilted his head. "Oh? Why's that? Do you not trust your judgment?"

"No. This is for you. I know you designed the gardens in the Eighth and you're incredibly proud of it, as you should be. If the First is to feel like... home, then you should have the final say."

"My Nanao-chan always looking out for me. All right, I'll look at them, but I'm not deciding alone. I want your opinion too. The First will be your new home as well."

"But sir--"

"No objections, Nanao-chan. I want you to feel comfortable as well. And if it means you can get a slice of this heaven you've graciously allowed me to participate in, then you get a say as well."

"Does that mean Vice Captain Okikiba will get a say too?"

Of course she would think of the other Vice Captain in an effort to be fair. "If you think he should get a say, that's fine. I'm sure he won't mind either way."

She nodded. "I shall speak to him on the matter in the morning."

He nodded in reply but quickly turned his attention to the view again. To think this was here his entire life and he had no idea it even existed. Outside of the Eighth and Ukitake's, he didn't think he could find another place to fully relax in. Kyoraku laid down on the cold ground, arms folded behind his head as his legs dangled off the edge. The moon was full and bright tonight.

"Say, Nanao-chan, how did you find this place?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her shift and look at him with a slight smile. She shrugged. "Random encounter."

"I'm sensing there's more to this story. Was it a boy?" he teased. "Because this is very romantic."

"I did not bring you here because it's 'romantic!'"

He chuckled. "Could've fooled me, Nanao-chan. I told you, if you ever wanted to take advantage of me, all you have to do is ask."

She huffed and turned away, cheeks a light shade of pink.

He grinned. At least he could still rile her up just the same. Since the invasion, he hadn't had much time to even speak to her, much less catch a glimpse of her. Telling her about the promotion was really the last time they had any personal time. As soon as she had declared that she'd be going with him, and he conceded, she had taken off to make preparations for both First and Eighth divisions. Poor Third Seat Takahashi must've had a heart attack when she told him he would have to run the Eighth for the time being.

"You know what this night reminds me of?" he asked after a moment.

"If it's another one of your sordid tales under the moonlight, I'd rather not."

He burst out laughing. "No, no, Nanao-chan. Nothing like that. Although I do have many stories of that nature."

"Of course you do," she muttered.

"What was that, dear Nanao-chan? Are you changing your mind?" He couldn't help himself. She was too easy and looking extraordinary tonight. He desperately needed something familiar.

"No!"

"I was just going to say that this reminds me of the night before I made you my Vice Captain."

She turned back to him, eyebrows raised in question. "The night before?"

He nodded. "I had a meeting with Yama-jii and told him that I planned on promoting you. I didn't need his approval to appoint you since it's a Captain's directive, but I wanted to get his opinion nonetheless. Do you know what he told me?"

She shook her head, attention fully on him.

Kyoraku raised himself up on his arms so he could look at Nanao-chan directly. "He told me, 'Don't you dare lose or misplace this one, Shunsui. She'll be good for you.' At first I thought he was just impressed with how easily you passed the Vice Captain test and with your organizational skills. But I'm starting to get the feeling that he meant much more than that. Even from the grave he's still teaching me new things."

She turned away. "Captain..."

"I think I'm finally understanding what he meant, Nanao-chan. I know you're not his biggest fan, but Yama-jii's opinion meant so much to me. So to hear him approve of you made me want to work that much harder in keeping you safe." He brushed the dirt off his hands and gently turned her face toward his. "Moving you to the First may not have been the wisest move, and it was incredibly selfish of me, but here I can keep you safe."

"I can take care of myself, Captain," she said defiantly, staring into his eyes. Her eyes were blazing deep and bright and he loved the sight of it.

"I know that, Nanao-chan, probably more than anyone else. But there's no way I'm letting you go now. Not with this new threat looming over us. I gave my word to Yama-jii that I wouldn't lose you and I won't."

Something in his face must've surprised her because she looked startled, then fierce determination settled into her eyes. She removed his hand from her face and gripped it tightly between hers. "I'm starting to realize why Sasakibe-san pledged his allegiance to the Captain Commander."

He looked at her in surprise and returned the grip. "Nanao-chan, I would never--"

"Please let me finish, Captain." He obediently snapped his mouth shut. "I always thought I understood the duties of being a Vice Captain, but now I'm realizing exactly what that means. And like the oath I took when I became your Vice Captain, I will do anything to support you." She stared into his eyes with hers blazing a shade of violet he's never seen before. "I won't lose you either."

Something inside him reached up and strangled his vocal cords because when he tried to open his mouth to say something, nothing came out. The fierce look in her eyes was enough to bring him to his knees and made him want to wrap her up in his arms forever. Because no one had ever looked at him like that nor declared any sort of feelings toward him as Nanao-chan beautifully did.

A tendril of her hair escaped and tickled their joined hands. He reluctantly let go and brushed it back behind her ear. "I don't deserve you," he choked out.

"It's not about deserving, Captain. I will always be here for you and with you. There is no place I'd rather be."

He leaned his forehead against hers for lack of response. He didn't know what to say. What do you say when someone declares their unwavering loyalty like that? A thank you sounded too... simple. He'd kiss her if she would allow it or hug her for the same reason. So he simply rested his head against hers and hoped she wouldn't slap him away.

She raised a hand to his cheek, but instead of the sting he expected, she lightly rested it there, fingers stroking the stubble on his cheeks. He let out a small relieved breath and closed his eyes at the soothing motions.

"You helped me," she said suddenly. His eyes snapped open, mouth open to ask a question when her other hand rested a finger over his lips. "Find this place I mean. It was during that time when you were childishly chasing me all over Seireitei reading those awful poems you made up while drunk. I was so fed up with it I just kept going and going, not knowing where I was going until I ended up here."

"I wondered where you had disappeared off to. I think I ended up passed out at Ukitake's that night after searching for you."

"You did. I had to haul your ass back." She scratched his rough cheek a little harder than before, then quickly smoothed it over. "I almost left you there, or dropped you off this ledge out of spite."

He took her free hand and kissed the back of it. "I really don't deserve you. You deserve someone better."

"Captain--"

"Someone who doesn't put so much of a burden on you," he continued, rushing to get these last words out. "Someone who's whole and ready to be everything you want and need."

He stared at her as she raised her free hand to the other side of his face and traced the outline of his eyepatch. He closed his eye in shame and turned his head away. She lifted her head away from his and turned his head the other way to inspect his ear. He kept his eye closed as he felt her fingers ghost across the patch to the scar on the side of his face. When she reached his mangled ear, he gasped and she immediately backed away.

"Am I hurting you?" she whispered.

He shook his head and she continued her exploration, tracing the jagged edge that left half his ear intact, down to the outer shell of the remains. When she was finished, she leaned in and whispered into his ear. It was faint. He still had some hearing in that ear, much to his surprise, but he could still feel the tickle of her breath.

"We could get you a pink eyepatch if you want. To match your kimono."

He threw his head back, laughing loudly. Leave it to Nanao-chan to find the perfect moment to lighten the mood. When did their roles change?

"How about little designs on them?" He joked back. He wanted to scoop her up and swing her around their small ledge. "Like hearts and flowers?"

The smile on her face was even more gorgeous than the view from this ledge. "They could even come in different colors if you'd like."

"I'd like that. Then I can show the entire world my love for you with a bright red heart."

"I'm sure you'd usher in a brand new fashion style," she replied dryly. She leaned back, hands holding his head still to analyze his face. "I actually like the eyepatch. It makes you look... dangerous."

He lifted an eyebrow. "I hope that's a good thing, Nanao-chan?"

"Not like Captain Zaraki," she clarified. "No... it's more... I don't know."

"Handsome?" He smirked. "Is Nanao-chan calling her Captain dangerously handsome? Perhaps ruggedly handsome sounds better?"

She blushed and looked away. "Manly?"

"Ruggedly handsome and manly? Can't go wrong with that. I like that Nanao-chan thinks that about her Captain."

She rolled her eyes, but the blush deepened, which made him smile. He always loved getting that reaction out of her. It had been getting harder and harder to get her off kilter these days, and now everything felt right. All the right pieces were clicking into place again.

"You almost look normal again." She reached behind her and somehow produced his favorite straw hat. She placed it squarely on his head and tilted the brim up so she could see his eyes. "There, now you look like Captain Kyoraku."

He cocked his head to the side. "Oh? Who did I look like before?"

"Not yourself. I hadn't seen you smile in a long time or wear your hat."

Guess he hadn't been hiding his grief as well as he thought. "Nanao-chan, I--"

"You don't need to explain, Captain. We're all allowed to grieve in our own ways. Captain Commander Yamamoto was very important to you. You're allowed to mourn him, even with your new promotion."

Only Nanao-chan would be able to see through him like this. Well, and Ukitake, but he hadn't seen his friend in a long time either.

"Take all the time you need."

He moved to take off the hat, but she immediately stopped him. "You'll need that." She pointed over the ledge. The edges of the sun were peeking out over the area. "It'll be bright."

"Why don't you stay and enjoy it with me?"

She shook her head. "I promised Takahashi-san that I'd help him with the Eighth today first thing in the morning. He still hasn't adjusted enough."

"Just a few minutes? Please?"

"Stay as long as you need. But I do need to go, Captain."

He nodded, then grabbed hold of her arm before she disappeared. "Thank you," he said quietly. "For sharing this with me."

"You can use this when you need to get away. That's why I brought you here."

"It feels like an invasion of privacy without you here."

"Not if I'm inviting you."

He looked up at her to see the sincerity of the offer in her eyes. "Why don't we make it a regular event to come here? Like a mandatory way to unwind when all this gets too much."

"I suppose I could schedule some down time. We may have to shift a few meetings around--"

"Whatever you need to do, Nanao-chan."

"Even if I have to schedule some meetings earlier to accommodate this new... occurrence?"

He groaned. "I suppose. If it's necessary."

"How often would you like to meet here?"

"Once a week. At least."

She nodded and he knew that she would do that right away. What she would classify it as would be intriguing, but maybe one day he'll surprise her here with a picnic or replace the event as 'A Date with the Captain Commander' just to see the color rise in her cheeks.

Ah, it definitely felt good to be back. He almost felt normal again.

She gasped and he immediately released his hold on her and looked around. He turned to look at the sunrise and couldn't help but hold his breath. Nanao-chan was right. The sunrise was better than the moonlight. The pinks and oranges that bled together over the golden rooftops of Seireitei created colors that he never imagined before. He wished he could capture this one moment forever and put it on canvas.

He tried to tear his gaze away to look at Nanao, but couldn't. For once, he couldn't rip his eyes away from this sunrise. He thought he'd seen them all in his long lifetime, but this... this couldn't compare to the many he'd seen before. He managed to take his eyes off the blaze in front of him and looked up at Nanao only to find her completely transfixed as he was. The warm colors on her face made her look younger and he itched to reach up and run his fingers over her rosy cheeks.

"Nanao-chan?"

She snapped to attention and forcefully tore her gaze away to look down at him. "Yes, sir?"

"Come sit." He patted the spot next to him.

"I can't," she said reluctantly. "I need to change and prep before I meet up with Takahashi-san. I wrote out instructions for him and walking him through that will take some time."

"I am so glad that Nanao-chan is so faithful and dutiful, but surely you can spend a few more minutes watching this gorgeous sunrise with your Captain?"

She looked away and he knew she was fighting with herself. "It's just a few minutes. It won't hurt, Nanao-chan."

"Fine, but I'm not sitting."

He shrugged. "Whatever Nanao-chan likes."

She stood beside him instead and placed her hand on his shoulder as they both stared out at the sun rising over the area. As the golden rays of light hit Seireitei and the Rukongai, it hit him like a punch to the gut. This was all his. He was responsible for all the souls here. He was responsible for their lives and their well being. This is what Yama-jii left him.

He felt a squeeze on his shoulder and he immediately rested his hand on top of hers. He looked up at her profile and took a mental picture of the image of the sun's rays lighting up her face. This he would capture and remember forever. No one could take this moment away from him.

He squeezed her hand in return and smiled up at her. He may have an enormous amount of responsibility now, but at least he wasn't alone.

She returned his smile. To him, that seemed brighter than the sunrise and he wished he could capture the warmth from it and keep it with him for the rest of his life. With one last squeeze, she disappeared from his side and he followed her with his gaze as she flash stepped back to the First.

With the sun steadily rising, he flopped back onto the dirt with his hat over his face. It was a good time to take a nap.

 

*

 

Around lunchtime, he strolled back into his new office feeling rested and renewed. He stretched as he walked over to his desk. Technically it was still Yama-jii's but he hadn't had the heart to have it removed. But he absolutely refused to sit in Yama-jii's chair. Instead he put it aside and hadn't replaced it yet, much to Nanao-chan's frustration. Besides, he preferred to stand right now.

On his desk, Nanao had organized the stacks of paperwork in terms of significance with the urgent ones on his right. He sighed at how large the stack had gotten since he last glanced at it. On his left he noticed the landscaping plans she promised him and idly flipped through them. For all of Nanao's cold exterior, she definitely had an eye for beauty. Either that or she just knew him well enough to draw up these kinds of plans, he mused silently. 

In the middle of his desk was a small package wrapped in pink paper.

He grinned and picked up the little package. It was light and there was no card or note saying who it was from. He eagerly ripped it open then lifted the lid and burst out laughing. 

Inside was a pink eyepatch that was the exact same shade as the pink kimono he wore. 

He easily pulled it out of the box and inspected it. It appeared exactly like the black one the Fourth had given him, but as he looked closer he noticed something personal. In the corner of the patch there was a single red heart. It was tiny enough that no one would notice unless they were up close. It wasn't exactly how he imagined it when he joked with Nanao-chan, but it was more than he expected. Suddenly the world didn't seem as dreary and his heart didn't feel as heavy. Here was a daily reminder that he wasn't alone. And their vows to each other.

With a smile, he put on his new patch.


End file.
